I'm the Ruler of Catching Colds – and I'm Able to Reveal Ways to Prevent It

Around this period last year, I found myself participating in a broadcast in the company of three performers. Present were a Ghanaian-origin rapper, a big pop star, and a famous mezzo-soprano. The coldest season was upon us. Just the night prior, I celebrated a close friend's milestone birthday, squeezed into a pub's event space somewhere in Surrey. The festivities were fun, but now, just for something to say, I pondered how one could prevent getting a cold when half the people at the party were part of an orchestra of winter ailments. By the way, why do certain individuals blow their noses so loudly, while others are quieter? A question for another day.

The Reaction from the Three Performers

Upon referencing the party, the group of artists in the TV green room responded in two ways. First, they moved back a bit. Secondly, they launched into an animated conversation about preventing colds which understandable due to their profession was almost an obsession. I understand that, but I have skin in this game too – I must avoid colds at all costs since my colds are more severe than others'. I lack official documentation, yet I'm certain it's factual. My colds last longer. I experience worse nasal blockage, I have a more irritated throat, I suffer from louder, more relentless coughing spells. Those at home, familiar with the early throat signs indicating trouble ahead, either kick me out of the room or leave themselves. When I worked as a sports broadcaster, the unfortunate crew in the control room grew attuned to the warning signs. “Earpieces out!” the producer would yell to everyone prior to me blasting their ears, overloading their audio gear.

Handling Nasal Congestion

Regarding my nasal issues, don’t start me. Aerosols, liquids, even the sharp aroma of warm spirits my mom advocates … they help briefly until they fail. It's hard to find something more pathetic as a Midlands dialect spoken without the benefit of air passing through the nostrils. I mean, it sounds a bit nasally restricted at the best of times. At least this elicits sympathy, though that's not necessarily beneficial. In my first year away at university, separated from family care, the cleaning staff at our accommodation took pity on me. “I have the perfect solution, you poor thing. I'll return shortly.” She was extremely kind, with a strong Irish accent, and very insistent that I ate the uncooked, peeled onion she brought to my sickbed. She stood and watched me do so. Bless her. It didn't help at all, sadly, apart from sending my guts into raptures and making my breath smell terrible.

The Singer’s Health Routine

Thus, I hate colds and firmly believe avoiding is superior to treating which whether folk remedies or not, are ineffective. I focused carefully together with the other artists while she explained her health practices. With seasonal gigs on the schedule, she clearly took it all very seriously. She instructed us to apply hand sanitiser on the hour, every hour all winter long from what I gathered and, extra steps were needed during festivities. Before any event, she suggested a few applications of a preventive product up each nostril – even if healthy. Extreme. I like it. And, listen to this, she insisted on following it up later with additional bursts of the solution.

My Experience

I adopted the method. And I can report I didn't sniffle all winter. There were downsides: the many containers I acquired, mislaid, bought again, located, and so on. And that dispiriting moment finding you've squashed the gel bottle you left in your back pocket and it's oozing out. Nevertheless, an acceptable trade-off. And now winter’s upon us again, I'm stocked up with the singer's suggested supplies. I'm prepared to combat.